Kobi Update: The Terror of Chez Weber

I shouldn’t be writing this post. Not in the mood I’m in. Plus it’s Monday so that means I should be posting about some short fiction or other. That can wait.

It’s been a long time since I gave you all a Kobi update. There are several reasons for that but the primary reason is that I just moved into a new place and I no longer reside in the same location as the cutest of little puppies. Well, I suppose he’s a little bigger. The doctor says he’s put on ten pounds. Probably because of this new diet we’ve got him on. Hamburger, rice and Kibble. Not bad. We feed him three times a day now and he always wants more. He’s also nearly impossible to wear out. I took him on three walks yesterday and he still woke me up at 4 this morning. We’ll get to all that later.

First more pictures!

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No wonder he’s growing so quick!

See how big he is! Ok well he looks bigger to me.

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He went to a play date! Cool right?

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I think he’s a little shy. And kind of a wimp.

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Who has the shorter attention span? Me or Kobi?

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Should have been an Abercrombie model.

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Well maybe not.

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So why have I termed him the terror of Chez Weber? Because he is. Let me set the scene:

It’s a Saturday night. You promised your parents you’d watch the little rascal so they can have a vacation (although I think it’s a working vacation for both of em. Not sure how they managed that but well played). It’s a little bit lame that you have to stay in on a Saturday night but whatever. I’m mean be an adult right. You still got to go out Friday and they need this. Suck it up.

So, according to the schedule that you know the little monster to be on, you have to make sure he goes potty every couple hours. Not so bad in the middle of the afternoon but it’s a little tougher during the night. You know he’s going to need to go out around 2am, and then you can probably stretch the last bit until 5 or 6am. Oh and this new weird feeding schedule. Whatever, feed him at 6am, around 1pm, and then again around 6pm. That first one’s a little early but otherwise you can feed him when you feed yourself. No problem.

Sunday ends up being a long day. Instead of sleeping between 10:30 and 2 (Saturday night) like the little brat did, you tried to squeeze in a computer course on using Adobe InDesgin (so far I can make a bunch of rectangles -_- ). You woke him up and the poor guy nearly fell down the stairs into the yard he was so drowsy. It’s ok though. He went potty. Mission accomplished. He wakes you up around 5am. You feed him (and yourself) and take him for a walk. He goes potty again. Two for two. But now what? It’s approximately 6am now and you’ve still got the whole day ahead you. Don’t make any plans. You can’t leave the house. If you go anywhere, make sure you’re only out for like an hour so you can get back and let him out again. At this rate it’s just easier to stay home. So you get the little twerp enraptured by a tennis ball and give a two hour seminar on how to play fetch. He doesn’t pick it up and he never brings it back (although he does like to chase it). So you’ve just spent two hours walking back and forth in your backyard and it’s only 8am. Take him for another walk? Might as well.

Finally, around 11:30am, the little guy is getting hungry. You’re looking at your schedule and think “How do Mom and Dad ever stretch this to 1?”. You listen to him bark at you for about an hour before feeding him around 12:30pm. Rinse and repeat around 4pm. Take him on another walk. Play with him for another indiscriminate amount of hours (he still can’t fetch). Finally, he falls asleep just in time for you to watch Mad Men (thank god for small miracles right?). After that you try to wake him up to take him out one final time so that you can go to bed. He is still way too tired. You actually carry him out of the living room and lay him down on the grass outside. If this were some movie, you’d kneel over his body and look  into the eyes of some wise old sage asking: “Is there really nothing you can do for him?”

Thankfully, this isn’t that movie and the little twerp gets up and goes potty. You note that he only tinkles but think nothing of it. This time he wakes you up at 4am. You put him out but he doesn’t go. You try to catch another couple hours of shut eye before you’ll need to feed him at 6am. He’s up again at 5. And he’s pooped all over the kitchen by the time you go to feed him at 6. Damn. You feed him, put him out and clean up the mess. You’re not getting any more rest so you decide to play with him for a few hours before you have to leave for work (10:30 seems a year away). Around 7am you decide it might be safe to slip out for a little jog. You don’t know any of the trails around your new place so you haven’t been in a week. But this is your home turf and if you do it right you’ll only be gone for 40 min.

This is what you come home to find . . .

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Kobi’s nearly destroyed an entire roll of paper towels and pooped on the floor again (I decided that it was best not to document that mess). Can’t catch a break. In his defense, it’s almost like he tried to clean up after he pooped. I appreciate the gesture little guy but you don’t have any thumbs.

Anyway, that almost brings us to about right now. I’m not mad at him anymore. They say writing is therapeutic. I also squeezed in another walk in the middle of this post (he’s so needy). We met two other huskies along the way, ate an entire rose bulb, and hunted a wasp. According to the owner of the other huskies, he’ll calm down . . . and start waking up later too. Apparently her two sleep in until 7am (oh boy!). I suppose this movie really does have a wise old sage.

That should be all for now. I really need to leave for work. We have someone looking in on him in a few hours. I hope he’ll stay like this until then:

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