Americans!! Episode 1

Last night was the pilot episode of FX’s new series The Americans. Nowadays, I am pretty obsessed with anything that even remotely smells like espionage (especially if it has to do with Russians) so I was very excited last night to finally get to see an episode. From the beginning, my understanding of what this show was, and was supposed to be has been constantly evolving. The first commercial I saw was the one where they keep writing “God Bless America” a bunch of times across the Tv screen and eventually highlight a message that says “Rise Comrades”. When I saw that, my first thought was ‘Damn, somebody earned their pay this week coming up with that ad.’ Then I though ‘I wonder if this show will be any good’. But I’ll be honest, I didn’t really think anymore about it (probably too busy trying to figure out what the f#$k was going on in American Horror Story: Asylum!). Then there was the ad with the red slashes on different houses in the neighborhood which eventually form a hammer and sickle when viewed from a certain angle. Again, another really clever ad which made me think ‘I should probably find out when this show starts and watch the pilot so I can at least know what all these ads mean!’ Then at last, they began airing the ads which actually show the actors and hint at different plot points and then I was really hooked (although I didn’t really like those ads as much). Finally I knew the premise for the series and it was time to get excited!

Now I suppose, since the first episode has aired, the question becomes: Is it time to stay excited? . . .

I would say ‘yes’ but maybe just tone down the excitement a little. It doesn’t have to be overbearing (like how I get about Archer. Man does FX have me dialed in!) but maybe a moderate enthusiasm would be healthy in this case. I will say that I believe the show has great potential (and I’m also not trying to say that it isn’t delivering, because it is) but I do feel this show is going to take some investment. Which is good so long as the pay-offs are big. And I think they will be. So what do we already know?

1.  Elizabeth (Keri Russell) and Philip (Matthew Rhys) are actually KGB agents who are working undercover in America and posing as an American family.

2. Their kids aren’t in on it.

3. Some FBI agent just moved in next door (coincidence? it seems so right now but who knows).

4. Oh and that Philip seems to be in love (for real, not just a cover) with Elizabeth who . . . sleeps with him? Not really sure she’s in love but she does seem she is opening up to him finally. She tells him about her life before meeting him, and also gives him her real name at the end, which she isn’t supposed to do. Seems like a good set up for a betrayal later in the series but . . . I’m just speculating.

5. Matthew Rhys is so much more badass in this series than he was in Brothers and Sisters (god why do I even know he was in that!).

Elizabeth seems to be the higher ranked official and ‘in charge’ so to speak. She also seems to care more about Russia than Philip who seems to just want to defect and make a ton of money. It will be interesting to see how this plays out in later episodes now that Elizabeth is finally opening up to Philip. I think the job becomes a lot more dangerous with these kind of attachments (kids, love, a husband etc.) but I also think you’re not a good person if you can’t have these responsibilities and care about them. I sense some tough decisions coming ahead.

Finally, I think it’s pretty stunning how good Elizabeth and Philip are at their job. The scene at the end when the FBI Agent breaks into their garage and looks around in the trunk of their car, really put this in perspective for me. You don’t realize it until the final shot but Philip was there every step of the way, ready to kill that guy if anything should go wrong. How did Philip even know he was there?!! Clearly they’re much better spies than I’ll ever be.

Anyway, my final thoughts are these:

– This looks like it could be a really good show if the audience is willing to put in the investment and get attached to the characters.

– I hope the show doesn’t try to use their ‘fake’ way of life to comment too much on our ‘real’ way of life. At least not too blatantly.

– I also hope the show can continue to keep up the intensity it has started without making things so intense they just become ridiculous.

We’ll see what happens. See you next week after the new episode airs!

Archer Season 4: episodes 1 & 2

Ok so I was all excited about the 4th season of Archer coming on. To display my enthusiasm (but really I just needed an excuse) I decided to watch all 3 seasons of Archer all over again and do season recap posts. My hope was that I would use the momentum to do episode recaps once the new season started airing. It appears 4 posts in 4 days is just too much for me, even if the 4th post isn’t a whole season but just an episode. Anyway, even though I’m a week behind, I decided not to scrap the project, but to move forward and still do episode posts on Friday Monday after watching the show on Thursday (hopefully in the next couple of weeks it will just be posted on the Friday after but I’ve been busy). After all, something has to keep me posting on this damn thing (thinking of doing an Americans serial when that shit comes out but I wouldn’t hold your breath). So, I’ll be posting about two episodes today. Dont make it weird.

Season 4 Episode 1: Fugue and Riffs

I don’t need to say how excited I was about this episode (already have been gushing on about it for a while), but I was pretty stoked. And on the whole, this episode delivered a strong start to the new season. Loved the Bob’s Burgers cross-over, which probably did exactly what it was supposed to, because now I want to watch that show too. Well played FX. Well played. Anyway, the essential plot is that for some unknown reason, Archer runs away from ISIS (again ugh) and believes himself to be some nobody named Bob, who isn’t a spy but owns a burger place. Some KGB agents try to dispose of him and in prime Archer fashion, he takes care of them instead. This doesn’t bring back his memories though, instead he just wonders how he is able to use krav maga (I’m assuming that’s what he used but who knows) and speak Russian. Definitely had a Jason Bourne moment there but he moves on (god I wish I knew more about spies!!) and goes on the run again. ISIS tracks him down and tries to ease him back into the life of espionage and intrigue by setting up attempt on his life. Lana, Archer, and the rest of the ISIS team are supposed to shoot blanks so no one gets hurt. A real KGB hit squad shows up to actually kill Archer (or I guess still Bob at this point) and they’re not shooting blanks (kind of feeling a Die Hard 2 moment there. Oh and why are they making another one of those? Well whatever, I’m sure I’ll still love it!!). Finally, Archer gets a frying pan slapped over his head (don’t really remember exactly what happens here) and he’s back and ready for action. They dispose of the hit squad and the episode ends with Archer’s new step father showing up!! Right so apparently Malory got married and that’s why Archer wandered off in the first place. Personally I felt like I missed something but that’s the way this show seems to work. I’m expecting a season 3.5 to be released at some point to get us from the end of last season to this one, but I probably won’t get to see it until I buy season 4 so . . . That’s that. Oh and apparently Cheryl is freaking out over ostriches. Damn groovy bears!

Episode 2: The Wind Cries Mary

Not sure how or why this episode would reference a Jimi Hendrix song (which is probably a cover/reference to some even vaguer blues song) but maybe if I talk it out I’ll realize what’s going on here. Probably not though. Anyway, the basic plot arc of this episode goes something like this: Mallory is reviewing the meeting agenda and mentions Luke Troy (Timothy Olyphant); Archer has a flash back to some Jock/Fratboy style fun in the locker room with some vaguely homosexual undertones to which every other ISIS team member is 100% certain is more than just an undertone. Of course Archer denies all and asks about his friend who is, apparently, the only one he’s ever had 😦 Moving away from that sad realization, Mallory drops and even sadder one at Archer’s doorstep: Luke is dead. Of course Archer is in denial and while attempting to defend the heterosexual nature of his best and only friend, he receives a phone call (I’m impressed he actually picked up) which he pretends is from Woodhouse  concerning Reggy’s escape (yes the lemur). In actuality, Luke is alive and in need of rescue. Archer is on the case and sneaks off to save his friend. Of course he doesn’t turn off his phone so ISIS is able to track his every move. They send Lana and Cyril after him. As it turns out, Luke is totally gay (good thing they didn’t send Ray) and wants to start a bed-and-breakfast/grow old with Archer out in the middle of nowhere a.k.a Vermont.

Lana and Cyril show up to save Archer from this bad romance but of course trip the security on the way in so Luke can see them coming a mile off (Cyril’s neon orange snow gear likely helped with that. God do we hate Cyril). He drugs the wine Archer is drinking and goes to deal with Lana and Cyril. Luke knows the two of them like the back of his hand (apparently Luke trained at ISIS and then went to ODIN instead) and knows their every move. It isn’t looking good for Lana and Cyril. As I think we should all do when in extreme danger, Lana takes off her pants (in the snow! so cold!!) and advises Cyril to get completely naked. We cut to the next shot which is Cyril lying down naked in the snow with nothing but . . . well nothing between his junk and the snow. Even Luke is stunned by this turn of events which gives Lana the element of surprise, and enough extra time to drop a tree on him (I wish that were a euphemism). Archer eventually catches up to the scene and just as Luke’s last breath is about to leave him, he confesses to Archer that during some mission somewhere the two of them did something unspeakable. Together. Well it must have been unspeakable because we don’t actually get to hear what it is. We just get a shot of the forest and the sound of Archer screaming NO!!!! There is an awkward riding home sequence but basically that’s the gist of the episode.

And since beginning this post I’ve listened to almost the entirety of the Jimi Hendrix Experience and I’m not putting together the reference. If anyone knows this one please comment below! Thanks.

On the whole, this episode was good but seemed kinda filler. I may have some greater relevance as we move forward in the season but I’m not seeing it just yet. Maybe we’ll find out later. I suppose there is one more corpse we can bring back as a cyborg just to get Archer all worked up. A final face off with Cyborg Barry, Cyborg Katya, and Cyborg Luke could be a great season finale although I’m not sure how our lovable hero would handle it. Likely a glass of scotch and a plane ticket to Whore Island but that’s all just speculation. Anyway, until next week! Laters.

Archer Season 3 Recap.

Phew. We finally made it. The battle has been long and arduous, but we’ve finally made it through Season 3! And just in the nick of time too. So let’s get to it.

Favorite Episodes:

#28 El Contador – It seems to me that I just have a weak spot for jungle episodes. Which is weird because I would think that these types of missions have the most to do with actual spying (could be totally wrong though; never been an actual spy before), and the least to do with super glammed up, action packed, explosion filled (but also tuxedo and cocktail filled) type of spy plots we are usually exposed to. But don’t get me wrong, all those other things I said are totally awesome but . . . it seems to me that the writers take more time on the humor in the junglesodes. Or maybe the action is just a little more subdued. More creeping and crawling, which means less noise from explosions (or other awesomeness), which means the jokes have more time to sink in? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that I enjoy these episodes a great deal. Just watch El Contador it has the best jokes! Ok enough said there.

#29 The Limited – Now after everything I just said about ridiculously glammed up action sequences, my next favorite episode is just a glorified excuse to get Archer to fight on the top of a train. I suppose if we want to look at the Archer series as a satire of traditional spy tropes, than this episode definitely points out the ridiculousness of having a fight scene on the top of a train. How it makes little sense whatsoever that a villain should go onto the top of a train as means of escape (unless of course there is a helicopter; which there wasn’t), and how it is even more crazy that the hero should follow him up there. After saying all of that though, it is always a really cool/enjoyable action sequence. Also, the irony is not lost on me that the newest Bond movie, Skyfall, said to hell with being impractical, this is a James Bond movie and if we want to fight on a train then dammit we will fight on a train. Ok, I think that rant is over. I really enjoyed Skyfall and I also really enjoyed this episode as well. Also, we got to see Baboo again so . . . we should at least be excited about that. Oh and any excuse to make fun of Canada is a win in my book!

#’s 36 & 37 Space Race – Wow, I don’t believe we can say enough about the awesomness behind a mission in space. It was kind of a weird one but I’m told it was supposed to be a spoof on Moonraker (which I haven’t seen yet), but I’m also told that Moonraker itself was kind of a weird one too . . . so I guess it did what it was supposed to. I am a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see Archer fight Barry in the Alien robot suit thing. Maybe next time? Also enjoyed all the Starwars puns, which obviously needed to be made. My personal favorite was when Archere and crew look at Lana like she’s insane for wanting to jump in the trash shoot (did always think his was a bit strange in Starwars). Also, the R2 double D2 pun was pretty funny too.

Favorite Quotes:

Calzado: “Hunting the most Dangerous Game.”

Archer: “Jai alai?” – El Contador

Calzado: “Crocodiles on a three-wheeler?”

Archer: “Right how scary would that be!” – El Contador

Archer: ”  . . . a black astronaut Cyril. That’s like killing a unicorn!” – Space Race pt. II

Important Plot Points:

#’s 24 , 25 , & 26 The Heart of Archerness – These three episodes are good to watch because they set you up for season three. Archer runs away from home and ‘goes dark’ as you might say. He moves to an island where no one can find him. One of Malory’s old flames (a former ISIS agent) is finally able to track Archer down but is unable to bring him home by himself. The two get captured by pirates. They kill the Pirate King and Archer becomes the new one, which of course he loves. Eventually the discontented pirates mutiny and Archer must fend for himself. Malory sends Lana & Ray to help but they are captured too. Both Lana and Ray are shot but somehow everyone escapes. Ray is severely injured and by the real start of season 3, has to use a wheel chair to move (or so he leads everyone to believe). I’m assuming that the whole sequence is supposed to be referencing Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, but to be honest, it’s been so long since I read that book I’m not really sure how it applies.

# 27 The Man From Jupiter – In this episode, Archer finally gets to meet his spirit guide: Burt Reynolds! Who as it turns out is dating Malory. Malory keeps up the story that they are dating the whole season but they are never together which is odd.

# 31 Lo Scandalo – Archer and Lana come to Malory’s aid and find her sitting across the room from what looks like a very disturbing murder. Of Italy’s Prime Minister no less! (Apparently they don’t still use a king?) She swears that she didn’t do it, tells an elaborate story about what really happened and the whole gang plays a part in the cover up. Lana and Archer eventually do the math and find out that Malory must have been the real killer. They don’t try to puzzle out why and I get the feeling that it will hopefully be answered in season 4.

# 33 Crossing Over – Barry assumes control of the KGB and Maj. Jackov defects. By the end of the episode, Jackov is dead and we will never know whether or not he is Archer’s father as there is no DNA left to do the ‘Papa Test’.Also, Archer sleeps with Pam!!! (What-the-what?)

#34 Skin Game – One of Krieger’s little projects finally comes to fruition! (although admittedly, YYZ still eludes him) He has rebuilt Archer’s old lover Katya Kasanova. Archer takes her back, albeit after some serious thinking (but really just serious drinking) on his no robo-fiance. They are finally going to get married when Barry shows up to kill Archer. Katya again tries to defend Archer and amidst the tumble and adrenaline, ends up having sex with Barry. Her and Barry leave together, leaving Archer heartbroken again.

# Space Race – At the end of this episode, Archer and the rest of ISIS escape Barry one more time leaving Barry stuck on a spaceship. Archer appears to have a moment of clarity and actually shows he is capable of thinking of others. He does not fight Barry in the Mech-suit (yes the one from Alien) and the whole crew is shuttled back to earth. However, upon their final descent Archer decides that he wants to land the spaceship and crashes it pretty badly. Of course everyone at ISIS is severely injured except Archer (Barry may actually need the wheel chair now!).

Final thoughts/expectations for Season 4:

First and foremost, I feel that we will see Katya turned into a villain. After all, her lover Barry is stuck in space! Oh and I’m sure we will see Barry again. We still haven’t heard anything from Conway (which is not his real naaaammmeee!!!) so I’m wondering if he’ll come calling this season too. Other than that, I’m all ears . . . or I guess eyes really. Whatever. Can’t wait to see what Archer has in store for use tomorrow! Laters.

Archer Season 2 Recap!

Well, here we are. Day two of our Archer extravaganza. How are we feeling? To tell you the truth, I’m feeling at bit crunched for time. Only one more day left and still a whole season to go! Not that it isn’t a labor of love, but it is still a serious time commitment. Well, I suppose I should stop wasting what time I do have on looking forward when really the whole point of these posts is looking back. Looking back on awesomeness! So here we go. Season Two!

Favorite Episodes:

# 14 Pipeline Fever – I will say that this is probably my favorite episodes in this series. It’s not super-action-packed, or especially touching, or particularly any one trait we come to associate with the show. What it is, is an extremely well crafted set up for one joke, with some other stuff thrown in. We get a little more of Lana’s past while Archer makes an ass of himself (Par for the course I suppose). But as Archer is reveling in his excitement to finally use he phrase “I’m commandeering this air-boat!”, and the subsequent rush of driving said air-boat, an unfortunate series of events (well really just one event) leads our two heroes to shlep across a marsh with goodness knows what swimming around them. Archer lets slip that he is walking around wasted deep in his three worst fears. As usual Lana is relentless and eventually gets Archer to tell her what those fears are:

1. Alligators

2. Crocodiles

3. Brain Aneurysms

So what may we ask does this last item have to do with the other two? “Nothing that’s what makes them so frightening. They can happen at any time!” I’m sure there are better quips throughout the series but for some reason this one continues to be my favorite.

#19 Placebo Effect – This episode is just ridiculous. But in the best way possible. In the previous episode, Malory has a scare, and suspects she may have breast cancer. This prompts Archer to get checked and he discovers that he actually has cancer (Malory’s is a false alarm). At the beginning of Placebo Effect we see Archer bragging about how easy it is beating cancer. Krieger is quite disturbed by this and tests Archer’s drugs with some even more disturbing results. The drugs Archer is taking are not drugs at all but some cleverly disguised sugar-water and Zima, which is apparently some type of alcoholic beverage put out by Coors for light weights (someone please tell me if this isn’t what the show is referring to). Once Archer learns that he isn’t getting his Chemotherapy he is extremely enraged. Once he realizes his new friend Ruth is dead and perhaps could have been saved by the real drugs, he is even more pissed off. Needless to say, Archer goes on a rampage to find the head of whatever organization is profiting from these fake drugs. However, once he gets ahold of the real medicine, he begins treatment mid-rampage which spawns all sorts of hilarious mishaps due to his weakened state. Anyway, all is well that ends well. He finds the goon, beats cancer, and even has a cool movie to show for it: TERMS OF ENRAMPAGEMENT!! (but of course that’s a working title)

#21 Jeu Monegasque – I’m not really sure why I like this episode so much. Probably because it most resembles whatever it is I associate with espionage and being a spy. Swanky tuxedos, high stakes gambling, attractive women. And of course, an awesome car chase which ends in formula one car crashing into a helicopter (I feel like this is taken pretty much verbatim out of some Bond movie but as of yet it hasn’t come to mind). Anyway, it is also a prime example of Sterling’s Triple-A Power Play (and yes the A’s do stand for awesome), which is absolutely hilarious. In all, Archer and the team spy their way to the top, and retrieve what appears to be another sex tape of Malory (Jesus woman!).

I’m skipping the quotes/quips section of this post because quite frankly I’m too tired to try to remember them all.

Important Plot Points:

# 12 A going concern – In this episode, Len Trexler attempts to buy ISIS and marry Malory. Archer’s plan, which meets a surprising amount of success, is to plant a chip in Trexler’s brain and mind control him out of wanting to do either of his original intentions. This episode seems to call forth a lot of literary references. They test the chip on a Rabbit first and then use it on Trexler. For some reason Trexler becomes quite focused on rabbits after the implant prompting the line: “Can we give Lenny the Rabbit? (Nice Of Mice and Men reference there. Also makes me wonder if the writers had this joke in mind when they named him Len in the first place. Seems like an awful lot of planning for a one-liner but bravo)”. Also, the demon/Malory montage they show Trexler is a pretty accurate representation of Alex’s own brainwashing in the movie A Clockwork Orange (which of course was a book which I still need to read).

#13 Blood Test – The first appearance of the Wee Baby Seamus and the implication that Archer is his father. Leaves it kind of ambiguous at the end of the episode who the father really is. Best guess is Cyril (This is again alluded to in Stage Two when Trinette says: “He’s not even your real kid!”).

#15 The Double Deuce – Really like this episode because we get to see further into Woodhouse’s past. Pretty important stuff considering most of the time he isn’t allowed to sit at the table. But this time he gets a whole episode!

#18 Stage Two – As mentioned earlier, Archer finds that he has cancer. Sleeps with Lana again. Seems important somehow.

#19  Placebo Effect – Of course, the aforementioned rampage, but also a look into Krieger’s past. Turns out he speaks perfect German, grew up in Brazil, and is a possible genetic clone of Adolph Hitler (WTF!!)

#20 El Secuestro – In this episode we learn that Pam is one tough cookie, and severely under-rated. Also, and perhaps more importantly, Cheryl is an Heiress. And perhaps even MORE importantly, she has an ocelot!!!

#23 Double Trouble – A lot of stuff happens in this episode. First off, Archer falls in love with a suspected double agent. ISIS renounces him and orders a strike against him, positing that if he won’t leave Katya (wow just putting the Kasanova thing together now), he is also a double agent. There is a big shoot out at Archer place which results in him marrying Katya. They’re about to tie the knot when Barry shows up and kills Katya (well actually she dies tackling Barry off a ledge so technically she dies at her own hands but you know Archer is blaming Barry for it). Oh right and Barry is apparently a cyborg! Episode ends with Barry yelling something about being 1 for 3 from the ledge and we don’t really know what happens to him.

Well, I think that gets you caught up to speed. Hopefully, I’ll be able to watch the next season before the new one airs on thursday! Get excited! Laters.


Archer Season 1 Recap.

So there is only three more days until Season 4 of Archer, one of my favorite shows, airs this Thursday on FX. So naturally, in order to get into the right mind-set and make sure I am up to date with all of the episodes, I decided to re-watch the series. Below I’ve listed my favorite episodes, my favorite quips/quotes, and some plot points which I feel are important. So in case your behind or just want to reminisce season 1 please enjoy!

Favorite episodes:

#1 The Mole Hunt- This is our first Archer experience! While I’m not entirely certain as to when my first episode of Archer was watched, I can tell you that this episode does exactly what it is supposed to . . . it embodies all of the aspects of the show which we will come to love in future episodes, but does it in a way which doesn’t give the whole game away too early. The basic plot of the episode is as follows: Archer is confronted about his expense account which he has been abusing (perhaps at whore island?) and in order to rectify the situation, Archer must break into the ISIS mainframe. I order to get in to the mainframe, Archer begins asking around, trying to get various people to let him into the mainframe, pretending that he is conducting a mole hunt, and for some reason, mainframe access will allow him to narrow down the search pool. Eventually he has to break in himself. Ironically, in his pretend search for the mole, he accidentally uncovers a real mole, who is forced to make his exit from the ISIS because of Archer’s snooping (God do we hate Pam). Krenshaw, the mole, makes moves to break into the ISIS mainframe and finds that Sterling has already done the task for him (Double irony). Lana comes to save the day but is too busy fighting with Archer to effectively stop the mole from escaping. In the final scene Krenshaw takes Malory captive, to which Archer responds by holding Lana captive (what?). After sufficient goading by Krenshaw about killing Mallory, Archer springs an erection which causes sufficient confusion to bring Krenshaw to justice and save the day! It’s all pretty ridiculous when you stop to think about it, but as we will soon come to find out . . . so is the whole series (and by that you mean awesome right?).

#7 Skytanic – I mostly just love this episode because of all the corny blimp jokes (‘they’re in the Led Zeppelin suite’ ‘the VON Zeppelin suite?’ ‘I’m sure that’s what I meant.’) Also, it is in many respects a good example of how Archer, as a show, uses lampshading for humorous effect. For example, near the end of the episode, Lana must push a large bomb off the blimp. The pallet is too large for Lana to move on her own and she requires help. First she looks to Archer, who is hopping around the cargo bay with a bullet hole in his foot, and of no use to anyone. Finally, Cyril shows up and helps Lana push the bomb out of the blimp. Cyril and Lana have been having trust and relationship issues all season but especially in this episode. Once the bomb is pushed off the blimp Lana exclaims “We made it! We made it!” to which Archer hops by saying “Yay for metaphors!!” That one always gets me.

# Dial M for Mother – This is the final episode from season 1 and it leaves us drooling for season two! I’m sure this whole episode is riddled with references to Dial M for Murder (not herpes) but as of yet, that movie has not found my Netflix que. We may have to revisit this reference later but we can still discuss why this episode is one of my favorites. Mostly because of the end. We finally see Sterling and Mallory share a mother/son bonding moment which we have all been waiting all season for. Albeit after he tries to kill her with a knife and she pumps him full of bullets. Call me a romantic, but I still found it touching.

Important Plot Points:

Diversity Hire – We get our first look at Cheryl’s weird fetishes which play an increasingly important if not hilarious role in the series as it progresses.

The Honey Pot – Sterling actually forms something of a bond of friendship with a Cuban secret agent which he is supposed to seduce in order to recover a sex tape of Mallory and Jackov. Unfortunately, the Cuban agent must go into hiding. Funniest part about the whole thing is that the other agent he is supposed to seduce is a gay man, which Sterling becomes surprisingly close to in a sexually ambiguous way.

Skorpio – Archer and Lana experience serious sexual tension in this episode. It almost seems as if they might get back together. All of this tension drives Cyril to sleep with Cheryl (or whatever), which will continuously place a wedge between him and Lana. We also learn that Maj. Jackov could be Archer’s father! (Also brings up an interesting point in the first episode. There is a character in Russian uniform that reports to Jackov who has extremely similar features to Archer. I don’t know if or when this is ever explained. I guess that’s why I’m doing the re-watch!)

Job Offer – Cyril continues to cling to Lana as she applies for a new job at ODIN. He is so distraught that she will be working for Barry, who Lana has some seemingly sexual history with, that he sleeps with one of the ODIN secretaries (or maybe it’s the head of HR. But she looks like a secretary). Also, we meet Barry, and Trexler. Archer seems to have history with Barry as well, resulting in some metal splints being put into Barry’s leg. Malory has history with Trexler which is a little more sexual in nature. It is later revealed that Trexler is another name on the ever-growing list of Archer’s potential fathers.

Dial M for Mother – Well I already mentioned the tender moment between Archer and Malory . . . so sweet. Also, Cyril and Lana’s relationship seems to be standing on its last legs. We’ll see what happens next season!

Funny quips/Quotes:

Archer: “Whats wrong with me? Nothing, you on the other hand have a bullet in you!” – The Mole Hunt.

Lana: “What don’t you understand about–”

     Archer: “The core concept, obviously!” – Skytanic.

Malory: “Immigrants! Driving around listening to raps and shooing all the jobs!” – Training Day.

Archer: “Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts!” – Training Day.

Malory: “That’s what happens when you drink all day and skip lunch!” – Diversity Hire.


Well, that should pretty much catch you up on everything from season one. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll have a post for you on season two. Not sure if it will be the same format but probably will. Guess you’ll just have to check back tomorrow then. Now I have a lot of television to watch. Better get on with it! Bye for now.

Vigor Reborn!! New Spring Inspires New Motivation to Finish the Wheel of Time

It has been approximately one year since I last picked up a Wheel of Time novel. Approximately 5 years since I picked up Eye of the World, and I’ll say I was feeling a little worn out. After 7 books which each had to have had at least 500+ pages, I hit reader’s wall (if runners can hit a wall during a marathon I think so should readers. Also thank god WoT isn’t 26 volumes.)

The last I heard from Rand al Thor he was fighting some raged out Forsaken in Shadar Logoth and taking all of the appropriate amount of wounds before heroing his way to victory! As for Egwene, Mat, Perrin, and the host of other characters? I can’t really remember, it’s been a year after all. So after finishing Crown of Swords, I decided it was time to take a break from the Wheel of Time. All things considered, it wasn’t going anywhere and there were still some more books to be written until the concluding work. As Robert Jordan has made abundantly clear: there are no endings in the Wheel of Time . . .

Little did I realize that my destiny was not my own. The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills and it doesn’t give a fuck how many pages you’ve already read, you’re gonna read some more and dammit you’re gonna enjoy it!

I was part of the pattern.

About a month ago, I began the process of interviewing for a new job at a library (I won’t say which to protect the innocent? Or maybe the guilty). I knew some of the people who worked there because I had worked there previously. I went in to visit one of my old supervisors and BEHOLD!!! There was a Wheel of Time Novel sitting on her desk. I talked with her politely for probably an hour, all the while attempting not to look at the cover which I instantly recognized as WoT by its artwork. I didn’t want to know which volume it was. I had put all that behind me. Finally I couldn’t bear it any longer. I had to know which one she was reading.

At this point she told me promptly that she wasn’t reading it at all. It was an extra copy that somebody had returned to the library by mistake. (Destiny?) And if I wanted it, it was mine no questions asked and that I should probably take it otherwise it would thrown out because the library didn’t have the rights to lend it (It’s a trap!!). I figured I could walk away. Likely it was one that I had already read, or one which was several volumes away so I would likely never get to it. However, it was New Spring! The prequel which I didn’t even know existed and had to look up on the internet to make sure was legitimate. It was and it is.

I put the novel in my backpack and eventually it made it to my bookshelf where I assumed it would collect dust until Tarmon Gai’don. Weeks passed. I got the job. Re-opened my old work email account which I hadn’t checked in forever. Apparently I was still receiving emails from Tor and they were getting super excited about A Memory of Light which is supposed to be released tonight! (Don’t think I don’t see the irony in finally finding the time to do this post tonight, on the night of the launch party. Coincidence? The Wheel weaves). Anyway, I began to miss Rand, and Egwene, and Mat and everybody else. I began to miss Robert Jordan, for whom Tor produced a series of videos telling of his life and of the life of the series.

Then I began reading Leigh Butler’s non spoiler post and her other post about what Wheel of Time has meant for so many of its fans. I began to get sentimental. There was no way I wasn’t going to at least try to finish this series now. But I was worried. What if I started the series again and it was too much? Could I take another disappointment? After all, I felt scorned. Used up. Could I really do it all again? That is when I remembered New Spring. Just sitting there on my shelf, waiting to be read.

So I took the novel off the shelf devoured it. It was . . . exactly what I needed! Certainly a new spring of rejuvenation for the series when I felt I could not continue. (I supposed I should try to make another reference to running a marathon here but . . .Eh)

It tells of Moiraine bonding Lan as her warder, and of how she finds herself on to the search for the Dragon Reborn, and gives you some of those little tid bits you’ve been wondering about with her and Siuan. And of course, it is a perfect example of the type of writing style which Jordan employs and I am sure Sanderson has continued (It’s Sanderson’s fault I’m even reading these books. Why was Mistborn so good!?). But most of all . . . it was short! And self-contained. I can read other books between now and whenever I pick up the next Wheel of Time.

But despite everything, I will be buying The Path of Daggers soon, and will begin riding this pony once again. Or should I say cracked out bitchin warhorse? I don’t know.

Go readers and read! And read New Spring.